But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
