Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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