Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
