Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
