Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
