Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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