Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
