just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
