I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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