Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
