I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
