So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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