The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
