Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it hurts more in the daytime
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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