out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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