i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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