It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
