what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
