fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We talked him into tasing himself.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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