I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
