I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
