She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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