How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
