So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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