He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
