grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
