I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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