if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
