sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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