does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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