She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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