So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
