Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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