One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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