I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
