I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
