someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
