So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
