So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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