ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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