Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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