It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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