Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
