I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am one with the molecules
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
