the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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