that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
