Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
