I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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