dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
