Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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