When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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