ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
