do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
