Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
